Friday, April 1, 2011.
Not As Many Reeled In As Usual.
My three April Fool pieces failed to test the credulity of many readers. The rule in the past has been that no matter how preposterous my tale, a significant number of people think the restaurant I'm making up is real, and bug me for years trying to find it. I am still getting calls about the alleged reopening of Elmwood Plantation, which appeared at this time six years ago. Occasionally, I'm asked about April Fool restaurants from the 1980s.
Mary Ann, along with a few other people, have criticized me for being cruel in never revealing that these are just jokes. Maybe they're getting to me. I say when no real harm is done, there is no sin.
Most of the response this year was from people who liked the pieces, but who weren't fooled by them. I guess I'll have to come up with a humdinger next year.
One woman accused me of not having enough to do if I had time to write such drivel. That reminded me of something I observed on my trip to visit Jude in Los Angeles. If you tell a joke there, people (especially those in The Business) will not laugh, regardless of how hilarious it is. They just point a finger at you and say, "Funny." There is such a thing as being so cool you can't enjoy anything.
Along the same line of reasoning, the most stringent possible restaurant guide could consist of one line. "Really, none of them are very good." And none of them are, if I am to believe my listeners and readers. I can't think of one restaurant that has not at one time been slammed by somebody.
Breakfast: a slice of multigrain toast wth plum jam rom Chef Jacques Seleun at Chateau du Lac. (He has taken up making his own jams and jellies.) Tall orange juice, café au lait.
Lunch: One-fourth of the ham and cheese poor boy from yesterday, and half of the ball of potato salad. Water.
Dinner: A slice of cheese pizza. Water.
I will lose some weight this way, but I hope I don't also lose all my readers. Writing (and reading) about this regimen is as boring as ironing handkerchiefs, and you don't even get a good sneeze.
