At the Po-Boy Fest in 2019, Tom and I discovered a little-known barbecue place called Gonzo Smokehouse. We were judges at the festival and the sandwich featuring the smoked brisket from there made a very powerful impression. We were among the judges who awarded this sandwich top prize, and I have been thinking about trying the place ever since.
But that is easier said than done. Gonzo Smokehouse is located in Luling, with frankly ridiculous hours. They are open only a few hours during lunch on Thursdays and at the same time on Fridays. Period. On Thursdays, they do different things, and on Fridays, it’s all barbecue. The closest we ever came to trying Gonzo Steakhouse was on one of our drives when we crossed the I-310 bridge to Luling. It is located in the shadow of the bridge in a strip mall on the River Rd. Even though I was using the GPS, I knew instantly where it was by the cars and people in line.
It reminded me of the only time I ever stood in line for food. It was many years ago at Franklin Barbecue outside Austin. The line was part of the experience. I felt that this was probably a similar adventure: you wait in line for hours getting to know the people waiting with you, and when you finally arrive at your destination, i.e., the barbecue cutting board, you feel a little silly to realize it’s just food. But it was indeed very good barbecue, though I vowed never to do it again.
And here we were, finally, able to do it again. Mary Leigh, whose interest in Gonzo was not quite as high as mine but still high, had the day off and I was able to entice her to help with this project. (There was no way to do this with Tom in tow.) We traded off.
The line at Gonzo is similar to the one at Franklin, but it does not move nearly as fast. The people in the line likely resemble the ones in the early line at Franklin. Before it got national attention, it was only the locals. Everyone there seemed to be from St. Charles Parish, and a lot of them were in local law enforcement.
There is a bouncer at the front door who lets people in a few at a time, up to about ten people. What’s odd is that hardly anyone comes out. There must be a back door. The way to avoid all of this is by preordering, which can only be done online. But the line in these instances is part of the fun. At Gonzo, unlike at Franklin, you can help yourself to a cooler of water and beer. Very hospitable.
Inside the surroundings are spartan, with a few tables with checkered tablecloths. But no one is sitting. Once you get close to the owner at the cutting board, the assistant assigns you a whiteboard and takes your order. Meat is by the pound and sides are a la carte. They are $4 for a small and $9 for a large.
As usual, we got carried away and ordered the kale salad, corn grits, macaroni and cheese, and smoked brisket dirty rice. We got carried away with the meats too, ordering Brisket, Beef Rib, Beef Cheek, Cherry Cola Burnt Ends, Tex-Mex Boudin, and Pulled Pork. At ¼ lb of each, the bill for all this was still $159.
When you get near the cutting board, you tell the assistant what you want. The owner slices that amount and weighs it, responding to the assistant with the exact weight, and you are charged accordingly. The overall taste of the meats is smoked, which is of course the goal. I think that these guys are terrific at smoking things. The meat is tender and of high quality.
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The brisket had that perfect ratio of a little fat to the meat, with a black crust on the exterior. This is the ideal specimen of smoked brisket, to my taste.
I preferred the beef rib to the brisket. I am a sucker for beef ribs whenever I see them. This meat was shredded when it left the bone. I didn’t find the smoked flavor as pronounced as with the brisket, and I liked it better.
The beef cheeks were really tender and had more of that intense smoke flavor, but the rub was different and it came off as different. It too had a black exterior, as all of these did.
I really liked the cherry cola burnt ends. The meat was tender and the sweet flavor popped, but not in a commanding way. These were very good.
The pork seemed a little drier than usual, which I actually prefer in pulled pork. The meat seemed to be dwarfed by the smoke taste.
I was also underwhelmed by the boudin. The Tex-Mex spice came out, which is not a bad thing, though I prefer our version of boudin.
The sides were some of the best barbecue sides I’ve encountered. The smoked brisket dirty rice was studded with long shreds of brisket, and the rice was flavorful. I could eat dirty rice all day long, and while this was not a true dirty rice with organ meats, it was a great side.
Grits are a nuanced thing with me. I like basic coarse stone ground grits without fanfare, except when you are talking about a side dish rather than a breakfast grain. Forget the super-rich cheese versions, especially if that is a key component. To me, that is a great example of too-much-of-a-good-thing. But these were superb. Bits of corn ran throughout the grits, but there was nothing that overtook anything. It was a wonderful blend of grits, a hint of rich cheese, and bits of corn. Fantastic!
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The macaroni and cheese was part of the creamy universe, and that meant meh for us. This had a Velveeta quality to it, which is a no-no in my book. Rotini noodles are also not the macaroni and cheese pasta I prefer. Not to my taste at all.
And then there is the kale salad, which we only get to feel virtuous. And then we realize we should skip the virtue. This salad was fine with what seemed like a pepper jelly vinaigrette. There were meat bits in it.
I will be back for more of this. And we will preorder next time. We have had our fun with the adventure, but that is part of the fun for a first-timer. Standing in line for the next hot thing in food is truly a 21st-century American thing, and it does give one some perspective. I feel properly silly. And profoundly lucky.
